And so, it was really nice

Christmas has come and gone. It was by far the best one yet. We had everyone at the house, which was really hard on O. Crowds kinda make him nuts. Plus, all those people are always all up in his grill constantly. They all ask him 1,000,000 questions every 45 seconds. Makes me nuts and I am grown. So, he rejects them, which is kinda funny, and kinda sad, but we tell them all the time to back off and let him come to you, the ones who listen get the best of him, the ones who don't...cold shoulder. Whatevs.

He LOVED all his prizes, when we first got all the g-parents gifts under the tree, it looked like someone shit Christmas. My dad looked at it and said, that is quite a display and I said, so, I guess we will teach him about Baby Jesus next year.

Some other wins: Saw a decent picture of myself (first time in two-years), my clothes fit again, my parents make me VERY happy, my husband is the coolest cat ever and I am going into 2009 with much hope, optimism and drive. Should be a kick ass year!

Holiday check in

UPDATED
So, aside from the desperately ill child, things are churning along nicely toward Christmas. Here's how I am doing...

Bake cookies - check
Buy the tree - check
Watch It's a Wonderful Life (same night as the tree) - check
Take clothes and toys to homeless shelter and women's shelter - oopsy, must happen this week
Write letter to Santa w/ Owen - check
Picture w/Santa - check
Storytime w/ Santa - not gonna happen
Shop for Steve and Owen - check and check
Host 8 again for Christmas dinner - stay tuned

Breakdowns - none...YET. I was close today and not over the holidays. O and I are back to the tussling, how exhausting. When we are together, he is on some serious emotional roller-coaster, when I am not with him and Steve is, all he wants is me and when we are reunited, he just hugs and kisses me for about 15 minutes and then we start tussling again. Neat, huh? Seems cyclical, need to start studying the cycle.

The cycle ended after three days, we are on day two of regular O...double YAY!

More good reading

I am reading The Blessing of a Skinned Knee (thanks, Deb) and it is incredibly insightful and full of wonderful ideas to ponder as you aim to raise a happy, well-adjusted, healthy child. The chapters cover a wide variety of topics and basically shares that most of the parents today are struggling for a variety of reasons, but one of the chapters is dedicated to bringing out your child's strengths by re-channeling the things that make you moderately insane. But, there are so many things that a typical two-year old does that can drive you up a wall, my question is: how do I determine that one thing?

Sunshine in winter

So, it looks like O has beat this rotovirus and for those of you who have no idea what that is, think "roto-rooter" virus. In his 2+ years on the planet, O never had diaper rash or vomiting until this past week. It was the saddest thing in the world to watch him struggle and writhe in pain and have no ability to help him other than soothe him, carry him places and try to get him to eat.

He is better now and I was finally able to execute upon the stay at home plan today. We colored, made a play doh scene, colored some more. It was lovely. At breakfast, he even asked to go to Gymboree...wow! Of course I cannot take him until he is fully better, but I think my new plan may have merit.

The most hilarious (sorta) development is his learning to "milk it". Whenever he wanted something or someone to pay attention to him, he would say, "my tummy hurts" and when he got our attention, he was fine. Little scamp. Like mother, like son!

Still sick...

Poor buddy. Poor mommy and daddy!

Passing trials

In the last 6 months I have struggled with my role, child, home situation, worth and identity. I am pretty much done with that now.

I am a mom and a damned good one at that, at least normal. Last night, I came home from Christmas shopping to a VERY sick child. It was the first time in his life that he threw up. It was 12:30 a.m., of course it was. I was there. I helped him, cared for him, changed his bed clothes and made him as comfortable as possible. I did this until 2:30. Steve took over until 5, when I took over again. When he was hungry at 6 a.m. I made him some toast. He threw that up. He got diarrhea and vomiting. He was pitiful.

I was calm, cool and caring. Oh, and PROUD! I didn't once shudder at the piles of vomit on me all night and throughout the morning. I raged at a doctor who told me there was nothing to give him and I got him to sleep for a short while. I am a mother, his mother, the best job in the whole world. I could not be more thankful that I am lucky enough to have a flexible home situation with my husband and I am really thankful for my LG steam washer with the biohazard setting. I think I'm going to make it.

Changing gears

It has come to my attention to repeated tussels with O that he and I are very different personalities. He is a quiet observer, I am a noisy social butterfly. I love doing and going, he loves staying in.

I am over-scheduling my 2-year-old. It is dumb, but true. Every day of the week, we have a morning activity, the library, art class, Cosi, the Zoo, the conservatory, blah, blah, blah. And each morning when it is time to leave the house, I am managing a tamtrum. The kid just wants to be at home with me. Can't blame him, I am F-U-N! But, I get B-O-R-E-D. But honestly, for a little peace, I need to be bored for awhile.

I determined this morning on my run that we don't need to go everywhere, every day. We are going to do one thing a week for awhile until he gets more excited about the other stuff. I am sure building castles out of blocks and play-doh princesses will be more than adequate. Did I mention I can make a mean play do princess???

The curse of Monday

Every single Monday is such an unbelievable trial. O is so cranky, contrarian and just downright twerpy. EVERY SINGLE MONDAY. Without fail. Seriously. Then poof, Tuesday, fab child returns.

On Monday, he doesn't want to leave the house. He wants to do nothing all day but mope and crank and argue. I asked Steve if this was the same for him and he said it absolutely was. Something goes on on Monday for this kid. I think it is because of all the dual parent time and a lot of times, my parents are here to add to the excitement and then, Monday, it is all gone.

Funny thing is that every single Tuesday morning, he sleeps in past 8 a.m. Clearly something goes on that day. Now, if I can just learn and develop a strategy to deal with Mr. Cranky Pants on Monday...

And then your heart explodes

It is amazing how quickly he is growing up, he have actual conversations at the calm points of our day. In the car coming home from a six-hour road trip last month, we couldn't get the first movie to work in our travel DVD player, and instead of losing his shit, he simply said, "maybe we try another movie." I almost cried in the sweetness of this. As if he were saying: "It's fine mommy, any movie will do, it doesn't matter, I love you and love that you are doing this for me." And then my heart exploded...

Key difference in work v. home

When I think about my work day now versus my old work days, I am struck by one truly BIG difference. Even at the top of my game, in any given day, I have maybe 1-4 opportunities to get something wrong. And when I mean wrong, I mean irritating a client, losing a project or piece of business, alienating a co-worker, peer or direct report. Stuff that takes real effort to correct. Now, I have 1-4 opportunities to get it wrong AN HOUR...Think about THAT one!

Running

I began running in earnest in 2001. I wanted to train for a marathon. I did that marathon and two more after it. My last one was in 2005. I got pregnant six months after that race. I ran through most of my pregnancy, most meaning through the 8th month. I walked during the remainder. Once O was born, I stopped running. See, I was working all the time and when I wasn't working, I wanted to be with my family. Taking time for myself seemed selfish. So, I got woefully out of shape. In fact, after O's second birthday, I had an annual exam where I found out that I weighed nearly as much as I did when I was 8-months pregnant - ACK - so, I committed to be my smaller self by O's next birthday. So, I am back running. I built up to 16 miles a week and am really proud. The best is on those mornings when I do go run, I am a better mom. I now wish there were a way to run every day. Today, I didn't run and was a bit of a bear...But, not as bad as I have been, just not as good as I can be.