Monday, September 29, 2008

Teaching opportunities

Today Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin were campaigning right next door to the Bexley Library. Today, as luck would have it is story time at said library. Therefore, the morning was spent teaching Owen all about elections. Like when a car failed to stop at a stop sign and nearly hit me and my stroller, I explained, these folks are excited to see their candidate and that since you are already born, killing you is not as big a deal.

And then there was the walk past the line to get into the rally and the people who were chanting Obama slogans, I explained that the great thing about America is that we are all allowed a right to our opinion and that we all get a say in who leads us. Then, there was the guy who flipped off the Obama people which prompted Owen to ask "what that man doing?" I was truly annoyed that someone who raise their finger in front of a child, I just said, he is expressing her opinion, but truthfully, babe, he is with the bad guy. And then Owen rolled down the sidewalk pointing at McCain supporter saying: "bad guy, bad guy, bad guy"

I know, I am going to hell...

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Head above water

Feeling in a groove with O. We have a routine and we are making friends. We have never lived in one place long enough to make friends with our neighbors. It is amazing to have kid for O to play with and people for me and Steve to share experiences with. We walk together with our neighbors and their kids to get ice cream some evenings. The kids play together, it is a very new thing for us. We are settling in nicely in our new neighborhood.

It is coming on a year since moving to Ohio and I am not sure what I expected, but in many respects, this has beaten my expectations. Plus, my hair is finally grown out and I have lost 11 pounds. WOOHOO!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Today feels good

This is about the end of my third month in this new role. And, I can say, it is looking pretty great right now. I am really in a good place. I am enjoying the pace finally and looking forward to activities like making dinner or playing in the yard (as long as bug spray is involved!) I am becoming slightly more patient and listening a little better. I just feel better. I have more energy and am feeling happier. I am enjoying slow walks home from places and leisurely trips to a store. I am letting go of efficiency and embracing truly and quite literally smelling the roses.

I do not miss work on an employer's terms, however, I do miss the work in terms of ideas. I can say with all honesty that I cannot ever see going back to work for a company. I can only see working for myself on my terms with people I want to work with and projects I care about that will make a difference. I am no longer interested in measuring myself by making a number for anyone but myself. If anyone would have asked two years ago if this would have been where I was, I would have laughed in their face, because I am kinda rude like that ;-)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Had the week off

I visited my in laws this week. It was just so completely odd and yet decadent to let someone else wake up with him everyday while Steve and I went running together. It was strange not having to feed him his meals, and him not wanting me to. It was strange to see others care for him while I was there. It was even more strange to be content in the fact that I get to do that each and every day and have no guilt about letting others read the bedtime story, or change the diaper, or quell the tantrum. It was a nice break and I have an even greater appreciation for this job.

When I put him to bed last night in his own bed, it was blissful to put on his jammies, read his story and talk all about the movies he got to watch in the car on the way home. Because he gets so little television, he SO appreciates a movie. He recounted the stories to me and told me the parts he thought was funny. It was precious.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Should I be concerned that an ice-cream shop has replaced a bank? I mean, is ice cream now more profitable than a bank. Are we out of money and filling that void with calories?

I am in Normal, Ill this week visiting family. In visiting family, it is like having a nanny and being a stay at home mom, this is the height of decadence, but also, misses the point, not that I am not blogging from a wifi coffee shop while family plays with O, but still.

Why is it so hard to listen to your kid? I mean today, he said he didn't want to go to lunch after the zoo, what did I do, took him to lunch only to leave before drinks arrived because he lost it...hate this quality about myself...just listen to him, he knows!

I have lost 10 pounds...I hate when I reach a small goal of a much larger initiative, I lose all motivation...but alas, I ran this morning and that helped.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Bouncing back a bit

Last week was a vision from hell. Failure, tantrums, all kinds of tear-filled days. I finally realized that I am doing a number of things that I find to be wrong for me. First off, let me say that I have some serious flaws as it relates to parenting, first, I am obsessed with efficiency. My aim everyday as a worker was to finish all of my work for the day by noon and to have all my week's work done by early afternoon Wednesday. This worked for me very well. I am and was efficient. An example of this would be that in the course of cleaning the house, I try to figure out the fewest number of times I need to go to the basement to work with cleaning supplies and the vacuum. I can do it in one trip...

Secondly, and by far worse that the efficiency thing, I am a pretty self-centered individual. This makes it very challenging to be a parent. I am not proud being self-centered, in fact, if there were a cure for it, it would be at the top of my to-do list. Which is yet another damaging parent flaw, I am to-do oriented. I used to have lists, lots of lists. Things that needed to be accomplished everyday in order for me to feel like I was successful. So, being efficient, self centered and goal oriented, I am trying a new strategy...Make a plan for the week. Not a concrete plan, but a rough outline of the activities and fun things Owen and I can do together. Today is a perfect example...We went to the zoo, he ran the show, we came home and while he napped, I made cookie dough. So, when he gets up from his nap, we can make football cookies. He loves doing this with play-doh, so I figured it would be a winner. I will let you all know how this goes.

I think with a rough plan, I will feel less confused, lazy and like a bad parent if I fill our days will fun things to do. I also need to let go of the rushing of the poor child...he is pokey, so what!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Heavy day, light post

The terrible twos are emotionally breaking me. I hate to admit it, but, this may be way more than I can handle. Please pray...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Q: So what do you DO all day?

A: Awakened by plaintive "mmmoooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeee!", greet child in bed, tell him to go get daddy cuz mommy's going for a run, finish run, get a rousing hiphiphooray from child, shovel down breakfast, print out grocery list, manage morning tantrum, put on different shirt because running shirt too sweaty to wear to the grocery, coax irritable toddler to go to grocery store, select toy to thwart store tantrum, run out of house with binky, grocery list, car key and purse, oh yeah, and the toddler, toss purse in car, ask toddler to hold key, pick up toddler, wedge him into the Jetta, buckle him in, open garage, breathe, drive to grocery, more breathing (phwew), walk through grocery chasing my dancing child, pay for groceries, wrestle with my purse, get cart to car, open car and start it to cool it so I will not have to hear how hot the car is for 20 minutes, put groceries in car, return cart with child, put kid in car, buckle kid, dispense binky, wonder if I will make it home before peeing my pants. Get home, unbuckle kid, send him to the house. Prop open doors, unload groceries, unpack groceries, make a snack, continue unpacking grocs, pour a cup of milk, finish unpacking groceries, get doodle pad out for budding artist, take out all of the crap we didn't eat last week to the trash, take out the recycling, trip over recycling cans, curse and scream. return to house a little fresher, talk toddler off ledge, unload diswasher that hubby was kind enough to run, load dishwasher with all the tupperware from fridge that has moldy crap in it, go outside and play, watch dog be tormented by bees, gather no fewer than 6 awful mosquito bites, drag screaming toddler in house. Convince toddler to play favorite past time, play-doh. Make fab pond with ducks, fish and bread to feed ducks, pull out more drawing materials, draw and color, greet hubby for lunch, make "triangle" sandwich as requested, serve lunch, eat something, not sure what, take child out of seat, wash hands, walk up steps, crawl into bed with child, roll around and play before child dozes off to sleep, visit with hubby, sit down, read the Internet and blog...and it's only 2:15.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Yep, I am that mom

Much to my surprise, I am the mom that does not allow juice, limits television to less than 2 hours a WEEK and yes, even in his easter eggs, I hid cereal and yogurt raisins. People, I think, know this about me. The moms I see and spend time with know that he doesn't get the same things their kids get, but for some reason, they cannot stop themselves from trying to ply my child with juice, cookies, you name it.

I am beginning to think that they believe I am depriving my child, doing a poor job as a mother, or what could be worse, trying to undermine all of my hard work. Stop doing this, if I say no thank you, it means, no thank you. And PLEASE don't say the word ice cream louder than any other word in your sentence so I have to either manage a tantrum or cave. ARGH!

To add to all of this silliness, tonight, Steve and I decided we will start having weekly movie nights as a family. It will be a prelude to family game night, etc. So, we tell O tonight that we are going to watch a movie tomorrow and maybe even eat on the couch in front of the television. His response: (direct quote) "That'd be craazzzaaayyy"

I guess I am a little stiff with the rules.